Understanding the self — the true self — is a lifelong endeavor.
We may get glimpses along the way, but there is no doubt in my mind that the full picture will only come into focus upon leaving this body.
I spent 14 years of my young adulthood assailing my reality to find this answer as a celibate monk, and in the end, although I got really close, I came to the understanding that it would always be out of reach, as long as I maintained a material form.
As I wrote in Manifesting Health, Happiness & Prosperity:
“You are not your body, nor are you the sum of your thoughts and emotions. You are not your job, your bank account, or your possessions. You are something far greater than all of these. You are an infinite soul, a drop of divine consciousness experiencing life through a human body” .
Illusion as a Necessary Part of Life
You see, it is necessary to have a certain level of illusion to function in this material paradigm. It is the same reason why the birth experience for the baby is so traumatizing that past memories of one’s previous life are abruptly cleansed from the consciousness.
It is Nature’s way of resetting, “wiping the hard drive” so to speak, so that the new life experience and concomitant karma can play out without residue or biased opinions from the past.
If we are fortunate enough, or have gained the appropriate level of karmic credits to afford us another crack at the human modality, then we can continue our pursuit of self-realization. But if our past behavior dictates that we are put into a non-human form, then our ascension could be stunted for many lifetimes.
As I reminded readers in The 7 Maxims for Soul Happiness:
“When a soul is entrapped by a material body, it immediately identifies with physical relationships and forgets its true identity as a spiritual being. This false ego, influenced by the modes of material nature, further entraps the soul in a web of karmic actions and reactions.”
The Unequal Human Experience
Then, of course, we have to consider the varied versions of the human experience. Being born in poverty in Haiti is jarringly different from being born into an aristocratic family in New York.
While the opportunities for material success and education are vastly different, the fact is, if a soul sincerely wants to see the truth, the Universe has its way of making things happen to facilitate that thirst for true wisdom.
Think of a young girl born in rural India with no access to formal schooling. By all material accounts, her path to education and success is blocked. Yet, her hunger for truth drives her to seek wisdom wherever she can find it. She listens intently to elders reciting sacred stories, practices meditation under a tree, and serves her community with devotion.
Over time, this sincere longing draws opportunities to her — perhaps a traveling teacher notices her dedication, or she stumbles upon a book that changes her life. As I wrote in The Silent Power:
“Peace isn’t about escaping the storm; it’s about finding a still spot right in its heart” .
In the same way, the Universe conspires to support that soul’s thirst for wisdom, regardless of material conditions.
The Challenge of Personal Definition
One of the greatest challenges I have faced is in personal definition. Dare I say, like most people at the age of 61, a lot of people know me, but do they really know me?
Can they describe me in simple words? I would say no. I am sure their descriptions would vary greatly, from “Charity guy,” “former monk,” “Juliana’s husband,” “food yogi,” “Tech guy,” “Ideas guy,” or “Aussie battler.”
All of them are true in their own way, but extremely superficial. I expect that you, too, have a similar challenge, because trying to define someone who has so many layers is like trying to explain a book in one sentence. Not easy, and often unflattering to the author.
The greatest Author of them all is God. We are His/Her creation. We are sparks of God’s splendor. We are divine by nature, but just as a water drop is pure inside the cloud, once the drop falls to earth, it collects dirt along the way. That happened to us when we descended to this earthly plane of existence.
As I affirmed in my book, Soul Power:
“Each of these affirmations is drawn from the perspective that you, I, and all living things on this planet are souls—eternal personified sparks of the Creator, not bound by time and the true essence of what makes us conscious beings” .
Living Authentically
It may feel frustrating sometimes trying to get a handle on who we are in this material experience, but in the end, it does not really matter.
Just be true to your calling. Do your best always. Be honest. Be kind. Serve and try to leave this world better than how we entered.
As I wrote in 101 Pearls of Wisdom:
“Don’t preach your epiphany; live it so fiercely they can’t unsee your light.”
That, perhaps, is the most authentic definition of self-realization available to us in this lifetime.
Final thought: The quest to understand the self isn’t about arriving at a fixed definition. It’s about aligning with the eternal truth of our soul while living a life of integrity, compassion, and service.
– Paul Rodney Turner
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